How to save a life
by Jeannie-Mckay
Summary: When a patient dies House begins to spiral into depression.
1. Chapter 1

Title: How to save a life

Rating: T for language in later chapters

Summary: When a patient dies House begins to spiral into depression.

Author's Note: This idea came to me two nights ago when I was watching a House music video, and the song 'How to save a life' by the Fray was the background music. I just knew exactly what I wanted to happen in the story, and so I set about writing it. It may take a while to write, as I've got a few others that still need finishing as well.

Please bare with me, but I'll try to get chapters up quickly, or as quickly as I can.

Also please do read and review, I love getting them. :) They make me happy.

Enjoy

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"It'll be okay, baby. The doctors are just gunna take you through those doors, and then you'll be asleep. Everything will be fine." A young woman was stood over the bed of an eight-year-old girl, the woman was obviously trying to hold back tears, but the girl seemed to be oblivious to this fact.

"Okay, Mom. You'll be here after, right?" The girl had short blonde hair, and beautiful blue eyes that looked directly into those of her mother's as she spoke. No doubt searching for an answer.

"Yeah, 'course I will." The girl smiled faintly, and her mother smiled back. The glass door slid open suddenly, and the young woman looked up. The woman had blonde hair, like her daughter, although hers was a bit longer and her eyes were brown, not blue. She looked no older than twenty-eight, and yet her eyes had the look of one who had seen more of then world than many people would in a life time.

The door had opened to reveal a tall, male doctor with short brown hair. He smiled kindly at the woman, before turning to her daughter.

"So, Rebecca are you ready?" The little girl nodded, before turning to her mother.

"Mom,"

"Yes?"

"I love you." At this the male doctor looked down at the ground, obviously feeling like he was intruding on something.

"I love you too darling, and I see you after. Promise." The woman gave her daughter's hand a squeeze, before two more doctors arrived and began to move the gurney out of the room. She watched as they took her daughter away from her, and finally she let the tears fall.

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Wilson watched the entire operation from the observation room, his heart thumping incredibly fast as he saw the surgeons try to cut out the cancer that had attached itself to the girl's lung and pancreas. Every time he looked at his reflection he could see the girl's mother in his mind's eye, waiting outside, desperate for news of her daughter's progress.

"How's it going?" A gruff voice sounded from behind him, he didn't turn around. He knew that voice.

"So far so good." He replied, not taking his eyes from the operation. He heard his friend walk closer, and soon he could see House out of the corner of his eye. The grey suit, dark blue shirt, blue jeans, trainers and cane reflected in the window.

Neither of them spoke for a while, both too absorbed in their observation. They had both worked with the kid, well okay House had only met her a few times and most of the time he'd sent the ducklings to do the history and stuff for him. Wilson had been surprised that when House had actually gone to see the girl, he'd gotten on quite well with her. He supposed that she was at an age where she was inquisitive, but not yet nosy. Also the girl was intelligent, another thing that House valued in people.

"Where's Cameron?" The female doctor had grown quite attached to the child, and Wilson was surprised that she wasn't with them.

"With Chase and Foreman." The short reply did nothing to stem Wilson's curiosity. Why was she with them? Did she think she'd find it too painful to watch?

"Why…" Before he could finish the question, a loud, monotonous sound began below them.

"No!" He turned back to the window, his eyes widening as he saw the surgeons readying the defibrillator. He felt his heartbeat quicken.

'_Please let her be all right, please don't do this to her! She's too young!' _He glanced quickly over at House, and saw his friend's knuckles whiten on his cane.

The 'beep' continued below them, and Wilson felt like banging on the glass, to get them to do more to save her. The surgeons worked frantically, trying to get her heart to start again but it was no use. The flat line continued to appear, and finally they gave up.

"No." The whisper came from his own lips this time, and his head fell forwards onto his chest.

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Wilson and House walked down the steps together, the silence that stretched between them was strained, both knowing what they had to do once they got outside to the corridor. As they reached the bottom of the steps the head surgeon came towards them, taking off his mask.

"There was no way we could have saved her, it was too far gone." The sorrow on his face was genuine, and Wilson nodded and smiled weakly. House on the other hand didn't even look at him; instead he walked towards the doors and towards the corridor.

"House." Wilson called after him, but his friend ignored him. He swung the doors open and walked out into the corridor, right past the young mother sitting anxiously on one of the uncomfortable chairs. With a sigh James Wilson began to walk towards the doors himself, behind him he heard the surgeon turn back around, no doubt to wash his hands of this incident. Whenever a child died it hit everyone hard, but this little girl had touched everyone's lives. She'd been so brave, but had still let her childhood innocence shine through.

He pushed open the door, and walked towards the young woman. She stood up at his approach,

"What happened? She's all right, right? The other doctor, Doctor House just walked past, he wouldn't tell me anything…" She trailed off as she saw the look on his face; with a strangled sob she fell back on her chair.

"No." Tears were falling freely from her eyes, and sobs were making her body shudder. Wilson sat down next to her, and placed a comforting arm on her back, rubbing circles and trying to offer he some solace.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered, as she lent into him, still crying.

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House was sat in his silver swivel chair in his office, staring at the bookshelf. His chin was resting on his cane, and his eyes were slightly unfocused. His desk was littered with folders, pieces of paper, pens and CDs. He didn't seem to care about this; instead he just kept on staring.

A soft knock on the glass door managed to rouse him from his melancholy state. The female that entered the room had long dark hair, and her nametag read 'Doctor Lisa Cuddy'.

"House?"

"Cuddy?"

"I heard about Rebecca." She moved forwards, watching him carefully.

"Yeah." No emotions stirred behind those blue eyes, but his gaze turned back to the bookshelf.

"I just…"

"Wanted to know how we were bearing up?" One eyebrow rose slightly as he surveyed the woman before him.

"In a way, yeah."

"Well I'm fine. She was just a kid, there are hundreds more." Cuddy sighed slightly, his brash attitude and rude remarks making her regret coming up here. Of course he wouldn't admit to feeling anything for the little girl, this was House and he wasn't the kind of person to go around telling people that he actually had feelings.

"Fine. But…"

"Just go, Cuddy. I'm sure you've got other patients to see." With that she was dismissed, and he swivelled around to face the window, through which he could see the rain slowly begin to hit against the glass. A fitting end to a terrible day.

Behind him he heard the door close, and let his head fall back against the back of the chair. He hated it when death came a-knocking at the hospital's door, but he knew that this was a part of the job, and that he couldn't have done anything. But still there was this horrible feeling that he should have done more to help her, maybe gotten her that stupid toy she'd gone on about those few times he'd seen her. For a strange reason he didn't want people to know that he was grieving, maybe because then he'd appear weak and loose his reputation as someone who just didn't give a crap. But also because then he'd have to let people in, and that…that was just too hard.

The words spoken to him only a few months ago floated back to him, _'A man's life can't be measured by how many tears are shed when he dies'_. Maybe these were true, but this poor girl had just died for no reason, she had had so much to live for…and now she was gone.

House swivelled back around to face his desk, dropping his cane on the floor. It hit the ground with a clatter, which echoed around the quiet room. His left hand came up to rub his forehead, and at last he let his defences fall. He closed his eyes and let out shuddering breath, still not allowing any tears to fall. Gregory House does not cry!

Suddenly he felt anger appear out of nowhere and his hand, which had previously been resting on his forehead, hit the table, hard. He felt something crack, and the welcome relief of pain washed over him. He sat there for a long time, just letting the pain wash over him, numbing him to everything else around him.

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Is it any good? Please let me know as this is only my second House story, and my first House continuing story.

Read and review people, you know you want to.


	2. Chapter 2

Firstly thank-you to all who reviewed the last chapter, you were all so nice. Well because of the positive feedback I had on the last chapter, I've put this new chapter up. I hope it's okay.

Enjoy.

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Doctor James Wilson sat in his office, in his comfy chair, staring at the glass door on the other side of the room. He felt so useless, Rebecca's mother was downstairs being comforted by some nurses and Cuddy, and here he was stuck in shock and staring out of his door. 

Beyond the glass he could see House's office, but he couldn't tell if there was anyone in there. To tell the truth he wasn't really looking, he was too caught up in this horrible, sinking feeling in his stomach. He'd failed her. Failed this poor little girl who'd depended on him, who'd looked up at him with those beautiful blue eyes. Her smile that had warmed even House's hard worn heart. No one should lose their life this early, not when they had so much to live for.

With a sigh he pulled his gaze from the door and back down on the desk, which had neat stacks of papers and folders all over it. One the top file was written, in neat, careful handwriting, 'Rebecca Louis'. He picked it up, opened one of the drawers in his desk and placed the file carefully in it. He would deal with it later, but right now he needed to…take his mind off the whole experience.

Behind the wooden door he heard talking, and recognised the voices of House's ducklings. He lifted his head; one hand lying across the paperwork in front of him and the other was resting against his chin. Should he go out and talk to them? Cuddy would have told them by now, wouldn't she?

After a moments hesitation he stood up and walked round his desk towards the door, opening it to find the ducklings stood in the corridor. They looked round as his door creaked open, Cameron offered him a sad smile, Chase gave a nod as did Foreman. They'd been told, and were now discussing whether to go in a talk to their boss, or to leave him to his own devices.

"Is he in his office?" Wilson asked, offering Cameron a smile back before moving out into the corridor to check the door to House's office.

"Looks like it." Foreman said, his arms folded and a slightly dejected expression on his face. Wilson always thought it was strange when Foreman showed emotion, he was so used to seeing the calm, clinical Foreman who did his job with a quick precision.

"We were just wondering whether to go in, or leave him on his own." Chase said, his gaze flicking between the door and back to Wilson.

"Surely he'll want some time alone? Rebecca's only just…just…died, and she touched everyone, even House." Cameron spoke up, looking questioningly up at Wilson. Yes, that's what they thought of him, the House authority, the person who knew exactly what he'd want and what he was thinking. A completely false and strange presumption, because he really doubted whether anyone would ever be able to find out what was going on in that head of his. House was an enigma; one that Wilson never thought he'd be able to figure out properly. Sure he was closer than most to finding the answer, but every time he got close to unravelling the mystery he was pushed back.

"Best to leave him for a bit, I'll go and see him." With that Wilson moved past the ducklings and walked up to House's office. The blinds weren't drawn, which was definitely strange! Normally the man would like to be hidden away from the onslaught of people, but now apparently he didn't really care.

He didn't bother knocking; instead he pushed open the door and walked inside the office. The first thing he noticed was the cluttered desk, a complete contrast to his own neat haven. The second thing he noticed was the man behind the desk with his head down, and his cane on the floor.

"House?" He couldn't help the worry that entered his voice, and he took a step forwards. His friend's head rose agonizingly slowly, and Wilson could now look into the blue eyes.

"What?" The voice was gruffer than usual, and there was something else beyond that. It sounded like pain.

"Are you okay?" A stupid question to ask and he knew it, but it had to be asked. House gave a scoff, and brought a hand up to his face to rub his stubble. As he moved Wilson took his chance and moved forwards once again, this time he made it up to the desk and took a good look at the man before him.

"What did you do to your hand?!" He asked, the concern in his voice now reaching 'mother hen' levels. He didn't care! He didn't care whether House made some joke about it, or not, right now he just needed to make sure that his friend was all right and not doing something stupid.

"Nothing."

"Oh yeah, 'cause that's really nothing. Let me have a look."

"It's fine."

"House the finger's turning purple. You've obviously broken it."

"It's fine." Those two words were spoken with such icy hostility that it could have made icicles appear on the desk, but Wilson took no heed of it.

"No it's not. House, let me see."

"NO!" Suddenly the man was standing, and towering over him. The blue eyes flashed menacingly, and his expression was showing Wilson that he'd had enough. However Wilson didn't back down, instead he stood straighter and looked straight into those terrifyingly blue eyes.

"House."

"I said no. Now get out."

"No, House."

"Wilson, I said get out before I take this cane and shove it where the sun don't shine." Wilson continued to look into his friend's eyes, wondering how best to deal with this. He might be able to take House if it escalated into a fight, but he'd have to fight dirty, basically he'd have to kick his leg. Not exactly something he wanted to do.

"Please, House. I just want to see your hand." With a sigh House relented, and flopped back into his chair all the fight drained from him. James released a breath he hadn't been aware of holding, and moved closer to the chair to examine his friend's hand. House obviously wasn't coping, and if he continued going down the route he seemed to be taking then he was going to loose everything.

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Lisa Cuddy walked through the halls of Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital in a sort of daze, not quite aware of where she was going but somehow still managing to make her way around the hospital. Her thoughts were still on House, and she was worrying about what he might do.

It was always horrible when someone died after they'd tried so hard to help them, and it was even worse when it was a child. Someone who could have grown up to be something special, and amazing. But she was worried that House might end up doing something stupid, because however much he denied it he'd grown attached to the poor little girl.

Suddenly her feet stopped carrying her down the hall and she came to a halt outside a door, there was no glass on the walls for this room. No, in here people need privacy to grieve. Lisa took a deep breath before she knocked on the door, and opened it slowly. She could already hear the sobs, and felt despair try to latch itself onto her as well. She shrugged it off, and walked into the room. The young woman was sat in a chair, tissues all around her and a new box already on standby. A nurse was sat with her, one arm around her shoulders whispering soft words of comfort. A nice gesture, even if it would do little good.

"Kate?" The woman looked up at her, the tear stained face a pitiful sight to behold.

"Would you like to say good-bye?" Cuddy hated asking this question, and so soon after her child had died, but they needed to continue with procedure and then find someone to take Kate home. She obviously wasn't going to be able to drive, and Cuddy didn't really trust her on her own just now.

Kate didn't speak she just nodded slowly, before standing shakily. The nurse rose with her, and once they'd both reached the door she said her good-byes and departed, leaving Cuddy alone with the young woman.

They walked slowly down the corridors, passing doctors and nurses who didn't have a care in the world. Kate didn't cling to her arm, or ask for help at all; no instead she walked quite steadily now. She seemed to be giving the impression that she was strong, and was no doubt readying herself for the awful sight.

Finally they reached the morgue, both stopped and Cuddy turned to the woman.

"Are you sure?" Kate just nodded, still unable to speak. With that assent Lisa opened the door, and walked into the cold 'store room'. There on a metal table lay the beautiful little girl, her blonde hair pushed behind her ears. Her blue eyes no longer visible behind their lids, never to be seen again. Her smile, which had enchanted so many in this hospital, gone forever, hidden behind the pallor that now took a hold of her skin.

Kate walked slowly towards her daughter, her only daughter, and looked down at the little girl. The girl who'd been complaining about not being able to have a teddy bear to cuddle, whilst she waited for her surgery. The little girl who had managed to make Doctor Gregory smile and laugh, without hitting anyone or causing anyone bodily harm!

"I'm so sorry, baby." The whisper echoed around the room, as though she'd shouted it. And Cuddy suddenly felt like she should be in here, that she should wait outside.

"I said I'd see you when you woke up," The tears were silent. "I'm so sorry darling. I'm sorry I lied. I let you down, and I'm sorry baby, but I'll see you again." Kate took her daughter's hand and squeezed it, before turning away towards Cuddy. Instinct took over and she caught the young woman before she hit the cold floor, and the two women sat on the cold floor, one crying and the other comforting.

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Go on, review, I know you want to :) 


	3. Chapter 3

Thank-you guys so much for your reviews, it's been really nice to hear that you're enjoying the story so far. Hopefully this chapter will be okay.

I'll try to get the next chapter up by Sunday, but I'm not here tonight or tomorrow so I won't be able to write it for a little bit.

Anyway please do continue to read and review, it means a lot to me. : )

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Seconds turned to minutes, minutes turned to hours, and so the time ticked on. Life went on all around him, people were smiling, laughing, crying, living, dying. There were people who had never heard of Rebecca, and now they didn't even bat an eyelid when they learnt that she was no longer here.

House sat in his chair not taking any notice as Wilson fussed over his hand; he kept staring at the door wondering what would happen now. Would he have to speak to the mother? Would he have to tell the ducklings? No, surely Cuddy would have told them.

"There." The voice managed to bring him out of his thoughts, and he glanced down at his now bandaged finger. Since when had Wilson got bandages on him?

"Thanks." He whispered, not wanting it to be a full apology but knowing that if he didn't say it Wilson would never leave. Slowly the younger man stood up, watching him closely.

"House…"

"You did what you wanted to do. Go."

"But, House!"

"No. I'm sure you've got more dying patients to go and comfort, maybe you'll end up sleeping with another one. You seem to like doing that." He didn't give a damn if he hurt the man's feelings, right now he just wanted to get over this damn feeling and carry on. And if that meant alienating the other people around him, then that was just fine by him.

"Fine." Wilson's face was a picture of shock and annoyance, and soon he turned on his heel and walked out of the room. With a sigh House lent back against his chair, his eyes closing for a moment trying to ignore the horrible feeling in his stomach that signalled the start of a guilt trip because of what he just said.

So what if he had been horrible to Wilson? It wasn't like the man wasn't used to it. When you became friends with Gregory House, you were insulted on a daily basis. It was time he got used to it, and stop thinking that he could change him.

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Alison Cameron watched as Wilson left House's office, the man's face was a picture of anger and she knew immediately that her boss really didn't want to be disturbed. If he was going as far as pissing off Wilson, his best friend, then there was no way he'd listen to them. She exchanged looks with her two colleagues, before stepping into the doctor's path. She knew instantly that this was a bad idea, but she looked into his eyes and opened her mouth all the same.

"How is he?"

"The same, selfish, annoying bastard he was yesterday."

"But how's he…"

"Coping?" Wilson's voice, which had been harsh a few seconds ago, suddenly took on a softer tone. "Not well, I'm worried he's gunna end up…" Cameron waited for him to go on, but when he looked away from her, she realised what he meant. House could end up going off the rails, maybe even getting even stronger medication. Hadn't Wilson said at some point that if House got upset that the pain in his leg increased? Maybe it'd get worse again, and he'd end up taking morphine…what if he overdosed?

All these thoughts flashed through her mind, and her face fell into her normal 'work' face. The one that said she understood that there were bad situations ahead, but that she wasn't going to say anymore.

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Lisa Cuddy was sat in her office, pen in hand, and forms all over her desk. No sunlight streamed through the windows behind her; instead the only light that lit the room was the main light on the ceiling. She knew that she had to look through the forms before her, but her mind kept straying to the young woman who was sat in a room on the opposite side of the entrance to the hospital. Cuddy hadn't let her go home yet, she'd made sure that one of the nurses rang the next of kin and soon they'd turn up and be able to take her home.

She shook herself mentally, and looked down at the writing on the paper. The words seemed to blur and then something fell onto the paper, smudging the ink. Another drop fell, and another. She was crying, again. The pen fell from her loose grip, and one hand covered her eyes.

Each tear seemed to fall in slow motion, as they slid down her cheeks and hit the paper or wooden desk. She made no move to stop them, or to take out a tissue, instead she let them fall, allowing her grief for take a hold of her once more.

"Lisa?" She jumped at the voice, and wiped her eyes hurriedly. As she looked up she saw Wilson standing in the doorway, his expression one of concern.

"Are you okay?" She tried for a smile, but another sob escaped her, and in an instant James was across the room and next to her chair. The next thing she knew she was sobbing into his shoulder, as his arms wrapped around her.

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With a grunt House stood up, he'd gotten sick of just sitting around. The feeling of guilt had vanished quickly, no doubt squashed by the familiar feeling of self-loathing. He'd as good as killed that little girl, just because he hadn't been able to diagnose a stupid illness. This was the only thing he was good for, diagnosing what was wrong with people, and if he couldn't get that right, then what was the point in him being here?

He just about managed to pick up his cane from the floor, and hobbled across to the door to the large room next door. The first thing that grabbed his attention was the possible ailments and symptoms scribbled on the board, each in different handwriting as each of the ducklings and himself had scribbled another possible suggesting or crossed off an ailment. Old coffee cups were on the table, along with pens and bits of paper, sandwich wrappers. The evidence of their weeks labour.

Blue optics scanned the room, picking up on every tiny detail. With a sigh he hung his head, letting his brain mull over what had happened over the last week. Could he have done something more to save her? Could they have carried out more tests?

As his head rose he clutched his cane tighter, and quickly walked over to the door to the corridor. As he opened it he was pleased to see that the ducklings weren't there, if they had been there then they'd have followed him and badgered him about grief and shit like that. He didn't need that right now.

The cane hampered his progress slightly, but he kept up the long strides down the corridor, passing doctors and nurses who pointedly ignored them. He'd managed to piss off almost everyone in this hospital, and only a few were able to put up with it. Some put up with it because they had to, and others put up with it because they…well they all had to put up with it. This was what he was like, and he couldn't change.

Finally he reached a door on one side of the corridor, he pushed the door open and was greeted by the unwelcome sight of stairs. Damn leg, it'd take him a year to get up all of these. With a resigned sigh he walked to the bottom step, he placed his good leg on the stone step before he managed to drag his leg up as well.

Slowly but surely he began to climb. As he rose he could hear rain begin to fall.

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Hope you enjoyed it. Got any speculation as to where House might be heading? Or is it plainly obvious? Hmm... anyway go on and review .

Thanks.


	4. Chapter 4

Here's the next installment. This one gave me a bit of trouble, I couldn't seem to get it past the 950 word mark, for some strange reason. Anyway thankfully it's a bit longer than that, and I hope it's not too bad.

Also thank-you to all who've reviewed so far, they've all made me smile!

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Cuddy knew that she needed to pull herself together, she couldn't go on crying into Wilson's shoulder. She wasn't meant to cry, she was meant to be the tough, female, Dean of Medicine. If people saw her crying then they'd think she was weak, and in this profession weakness could cost you everything.

With a sniff she lifted her head off of her friend's shoulder, raising a hand to wipe the tears from her eyes. She didn't look at James. She didn't need to; she knew that he was watching her with a look of pity and concern on his face.

"Thank-you." She said quietly, allowing a small smile before she continued to wipe the moisture from her eyes. Suddenly something soft was being placed in her other hand, she looked down and saw a tissue. Her eyes lifted to see Wilson offering her a small smile, his hand still placed on her back. The warmth from his skin was comforting, and she allowed this to clear her mind as she dabbed at her still streaming eyes.

"How's Kate?" She asked, pulling herself together with a big effort. After a few moments of silence, Wilson took his hand away, obviously satisfied that she was going to be okay, and moved back around to the other side of the desk.

"Not so good, but what else would we expect?" He slumped in the seat, and for the first time that day she saw how tired he looked. His eyes closed, and a hand rose to rub his forehead.

"Has anyone come to collect her yet?" The eyes didn't open, and the hand didn't fall.

"No, not yet. Maybe we should get a nurse to take her home, and stay with her. She can't stay here for too long, God knows what this is doing to her." Lisa nodded, her eyes now dry and her expression serious. She didn't really think that she could spare anyone to take Kate home, but if no one came to collect her soon then there would be no choice.

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The rain hit his face, soaked his hair and began to soak into his clothes. The cool droplets soothing his aching leg, and his aching head. House stepped out onto the roof of the hospital, his eyes scanning the area checking to see if anyone else was out here. Thankfully there wasn't anyone there to annoy him, and he hobbled over to the edge of the building.

When he reached the edge he sat on the stone that acted as the barrier between the roof and the thirty-foot drop. With a grunt he lifted his legs into the barrier, and placed his back against the wall of the hospital, so that he was almost lying on top of the building. He placed his cane next to his bad leg, before closing his eyes.

"_Wilson, this is your patient, your little kiddy-thing so why do you need me?" House asked, hobbling next to his friend as they walked down one of the many corridors of Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. _

"_She has symptoms that aren't consistent with her form of cancer."_

"_And you couldn't have got one of my minions to help you?"_

"_Don't call them minions, House!"_

"_Why not? They work for me, I can call them what I like."_

"_Have you not heard of … Oh why do I bother?" House shot him a grin, before they reached the glass doors to the patient's room. Wilson moved in front of him and pushed open the door, allowing House his first glimpse of a little girl and her mother. _

"_Hello Rebecca," Wilson's smile was bright enough to light a small village, but it seemed to please the little girl who smiled back. "This is my colleague Doctor House." _

"_Hello." The little girl had blonde hair and striking blue eyes, she was almost the replica of her mother, who was watching the two doctors with a nervous gaze._

"_Hi." House's gaze switched between the mother and daughter, wondering why Wilson had brought him here. _

"_Okay, well it's time for the daily check-up." The little girl smiled again, but her gaze turned to House and her head tilted to one side as she spoke _

"_What do you do here?" _

"_I'm a doctor."_

"_But you don't have a white coat." Wilson chuckled softly, as he moved towards her to check the machines that were monitoring her heartbeat etc._

"_He doesn't like them." Rebecca chuckled, and House felt a small smile cross his lips._

Blue eyes flew open as this memory floated through his mind; the last thing he needed to see now was…that. Memories were terrible things, they brought back pain and hurt and made feelings that you thought you'd never have to feel again appear. When that happened he wished that he could just rip the offending memory out, and put it in a jar to be placed somewhere where it would never harm him again. But he was stronger than that, he could deal with these things…well at least he appeared to be able to deal with them. He couldn't break down in front of people, and the only way that people could tell if he was upset was by the increase of vicodin he would take.

He wouldn't even let Wilson see if he was hurting, that would mean breaking down the walls he'd taken so much care and time to build up. Walls kept him isolated from people, and until now they'd stopped him from feeling those human emotions. He'd liked the isolation, the feeling that he was different from others. Sure there were times when he wished that he could be normal, have a family and settle down, but then there came the times when he knew that that was never going to happen. He was born to be different, born to be a cynical bastard.

The rain continued to hit his face, and he placed his hand in one of his pockets, withdrawing the little orange bottle that contained those pills that were sent from heaven. With a practised ease he flicked off the top and shook two pills out onto his palm. He stared at the two white ovals for a minute, before he shook another two out. He placed the lid back on the bottle, and popped each of the pills into his mouth, dry swallowing them all. He knew that that wasn't good for him, but right now he didn't care. He'd rather fall into a drug-induced stupor than live through these next few days. After a few seconds he felt the pills take effect, and a smile crossed his face. Now it was time to ride the bliss.

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After about ten minutes Wilson left Cuddy's office, feeling a bit better than he had done when he'd entered it. He headed towards the room across the entrance hall where Kate had been last time he'd spoken to her, he passed nurses, doctors, patients, friends and family and smiled to each in turn. His instincts taking over, and allowing people to see the friendly side of one of the doctors in this hospital. He may not feel like smiling, but you had to pick yourself up after a fall. Being a doctor meant that you were going to suffer bad times, and that you had to get over the bad and look to the future.

Finally he reached the room and knocked softly on the door, when there was no answer he opened the door slowly. Kate was lying on several chairs, her eyes closed, her chest rising and falling slowly. She was sleeping. Wilson closed the door quietly, deciding that she shouldn't be disturbed right now, she needed her rest.

With that done he walked back into the entrance hall and towards the lifts that would take him up the floors to his office. Maybe he should go and see House, see if he's calmed down yet. As he got into the lift with two other doctors, both pouring over clipboards, he weighed up the pros and cons of doing this. The numbers on the top of the lift flashed one at a time, until eventually his floor came up. The doors opened and he stepped past his colleagues, out into the corridor. His eyes immediately fell on the door to House's office, and he decided then and there that it was better to check on him now. He walked swiftly towards the office, peering in at the large room next to it as he passed. The ducklings were gathered around the table in there, Foreman reading the paper Cameron staring out of the window at the rain, and Chase leafing through the pieces of paper on a clipboard.

Wilson sighed softly as he reached the door, and opened it. He half expected House to throw something at him when he entered, but he surprised to find the room empty. No House, no cane, no nothing. He couldn't help the sense of worry and dread that assaulted him, as he wondered where the hell the other doctor was. After glancing once more around the room he moved back out into the corridor, and walked towards the door to the other room. He pushed it open and poked his head round the corner. The ducklings looked up at him, curiosity on each of their faces.

"Where's House?"

"Dunno, haven't seen him." Foreman said, his curiosity turning to worry as he realised that obviously Wilson didn't know where he was either. Cameron's expression was the same; only Chase seemed to not be on the same wavelength. The Aus looked from his two colleagues to Wilson, before leaning back in his chair.

"Maybe Cuddy got him to do clinic duty, we all know how far behind he is on that." Wilson shook his head,

"No, I was with her a few minutes ago and she didn't mention it to me." That was when Chase's face fell, and his expression turned thoughtful.

"Could he have gone home?" He asked, his voice almost pleading. Wilson shrugged, his mind racing. He heard footsteps coming towards him, and he turned in time to see a young nurse walking past.

"Excuse me, have you seen Doctor House?" She looked at him as though he'd gone mad, and shook her head.

"Damn." He moved back into the corridor, and looked up and down, willing his brain to guess where his friend might be.

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Hope you enjoyed that. Hmm...will Wilson find House? Will House end up too high on the top of the hospital?

Please do keep on reviewing, let me know how I'm doing. And let me know what you think will happen in the end, if ya want to :)


	5. Chapter 5

Thank-you so much to all who've reviewed this so far. I'm really enjoying writing this story, and I love getting your feedback. Please do continue reviewing, and let me know how I'm doing.

Hope you enjoy this chapter.

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"_Hey, you cheated!"_ _The small girl's blue eyes flashed, and she placed her hands on her hips, before glaring at him. An empty pack of cards was placed on the edge of a small table, that had been placed in the middle of her bed. Both sets of cards were placed face up on the table, showing indeed that she had lost and he'd won._

"_No I haven't! Look, that's a flush," He pointed to the set of cards before him, " You've got…a pair of twos. I've won." House had his bad leg hanging off the bed and the other one tucked underneath him, as he sat on her bed. _

"_I'm sure you've cheated somewhere along the line!" She said, crossing her arms in front of her, acting like a petulant child. When he had first met he'd expected her to act like an annoying, whiny little kid, but now that he'd gotten to know her better he was beginning to realise that she was in fact quite intelligent. She had a bright future ahead of her, as long as they figured out what was wrong with her. _

"_Nope, I never cheat. Scout's honour." He said, grinning slightly as he picked up the cards and began to shuffle the deck. _

"_I'm not sure I wanna play again, you're a sore loser and you cheat." _

"_I don't cheat!" _

"_Yes you do._

"_No I don't."_

"_Do."_

"_Don't."_

"_Do."_

"_Don't." The door slid open, and he heard footsteps behind him._

"_Now, now children, what's going on here?" Wilson's voice sounded from just behind him, and he tilted his head backwards. He shot his friend a quick smile, before turning back to the little girl, putting his finger to his lips._

"_Doctor House was teaching me poker." Rebecca said, ignoring his frantic 'be quiet' gestures. He could practically feel Wilson's disapproving glare on the back of his neck._

"_Tattle-tale." He whispered, before titling his head backwards again and smiling innocently up at his friend._

Blue eyes opened in a flash, as the first lightening bolt shot across the sky. The rain was still falling, hitting his face and hands with such force that they could have left bruises. The water ran down his face, down his neck and under his shirt. He was soaked through but he didn't care. He was too high to care. The lights and colours were blending together to create a rather blurred picture of his surroundings, and every sound seemed to either be magnified or muted somehow. His body felt as if it was floating, and he felt as though he could just jump off this building now and he'd be able to fly all the way home. That'd be easier then walking downstairs, getting in his car and driving there.

"Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend, somewhere along in the bitterness…" His voice was quiet, and gruff but the notes were correct. His friends had always commented on his singing voice, and some had joked that he could go into the singing profession at some point. Yeah right, as if anyone would put up with his grating voice on a CD.

The song continued to play in his head, and his hand that was resting on the stone began to play an invisible piano. His head lent back against the wall, and his voice grew stronger with each word. Soon he was singing at full volume, with the rain pelting down at him, the lighting streaking above and the thunder acting as percussion.

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Wilson had to admit that he was getting desperate, he couldn't find House anywhere. He'd checked all his normal haunts, the clinic, coma-guy's room and several other places. The weather outside was turning nasty, and he was terrified that House might have taken his car and gone driving. If he'd done that then who knew what could happen. He could have an accident…or worse. What if he was high on vicodin?

The frantic doctor sighed and ran a hand through his hair, brown eyes searching the entrance hall for a familiar presence. There was no click of the cane on the floor, no snide comments about his ties or his flirting with the nurses…no there was nothing. No sign, no helpful hint.

"Anything?" Foreman walked up to him, and followed his gaze down to the entrance hall. They were on the balcony that overlooked the entrance; from here they could observe the comings and goings of the hospital's staff and patients.

"No, nothing." Wilson's hand dropped to his side in a defeated gesture, and he lent on the railing in front of him. To his right he could hear two more sets of footsteps, which would no doubt prove to be Cameron and Chase back from their searches. He glanced up and saw them shaking their heads at Foreman's inquisitive gaze. Bugger.

"Have you told Cuddy?" Chase asked, turning his own gaze onto the floor below them.

"Yeah, though I'm not too sure that was the best course of action." Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Cameron's shocked expression and proceeded to ignore it.

"Why? Surely she'd would want to know that House is missing…"

"Sure she'd want to know, but this also means that she's got even more pressure on her, and she's got the worry about a lost vicodin-addict." His tone was harsh, and he instantly regretted it but he knew that Cameron was tougher than she looked, if she could put up with House 365 days a year then she could put up with him being a bit pissed off once in a blue moon.

"I'm gunna go check on Kate." He moved past the three of them, sighing as he went. At the moment he had three things to worry about, all of which were vying for his attention. Kate was still in the hospital (probably), Cuddy was close to breaking point, and House was missing in action.

He made his way to the lift and got in it, glad to find it empty. As the doors closed he lent his head against the cool metal, and let his mind wander for a few moments. He tried to think where his friend would go. He was upset, and in pain so where would he go? His eyes found the numbers and after a few seconds he reached the ground floor, he pushed himself off the metal, put on his 'doctor face' and when the doors opened he walked out into the hustle and bustle. More and more people were entering the hospital to try and get away from the freak weather outside. People were shaking their hair to try and get the water out, and taking off soaked jackets and coats. Wilson ignored these people; instead he made his way to the little room where he'd last seen the young woman sleeping. He knocked gently on the door, and again received no reply. He opened the door softly, expecting to find Kate still curled on the chairs. He was disappointed. There was no woman on the seats…the room was empty.

He went back out into the corridor, looking up and down to see if she was possible coming back from the toilets or something. When he was greeted with no such sight, he hurried towards the main office. The receptionist behind the huge desk looked up at him,

"Can I help you, Doctor?"

"Yeah, did someone and pick up Kate Jenkins?"

"Who?"

"Kate Jenkins, her daughter Rebecca was admitted two weeks ago, died today. She was waiting in room 2 over there, and she's not there anymore."

"Oh, no I haven't seen her leave with anyone. Just a moment." She turned towards the other receptionists and began to ask them his question. Most of them shook their heads, until one of them piped up.

"Oh I saw her, she left that room about five minutes ago, she had a coat with her and some kind of object. I think it might have been a blanket." Wilson's heart sank,

"Okay, thanks." He turned and hurried back towards the lifts. The ducklings were still above, talking amongst themselves. He jabbed the button and waited impatiently for the doors to open. They did eventually and he clambered in, pushing the up first floor button. The lift rose slowly, and he tapped his toes impatiently. Finally, after what seemed like an age, the doors opened and he jogged out into the corridor and back up to the ducklings.

"Kate's gone as well."

"What?"

"The receptionist down there said that she saw her leaving the room about five minutes ago. She was holding a blanket."

"So, she could have just been going for a walk." Foreman said, shooting down the significance of the blanket. A blanket that Wilson had seen Rebecca clutching during those horrible, depressing times when the tests results had been about to arrive. Cameron seemed to mulling over this information, and Chase seemed to have picked it all up quickly.

"You don't think she's going to do anything…stupid?" The Australian asked, his face a picture of concern.

"I dunno, but I don't want to risk it." Chase and Cameron nodded, and Foreman after sighing followed suit. They had to go and tell Cuddy this new information, then they'd have to go and search for Kate. Unfortunately at the moment her priority was greater than House's, she was the one more likely to do something stupid.

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The lighting bolts increased in intensity, and the claps of thunder seemed to be getting louder. House didn't really mind, it just made him sing louder. No one was out here to hear him; he didn't need to worry about anything. If he fell, then maybe the world would be better off without him, and if he didn't…well he'd wake up with one hell of a headache, and then he'd go back to his everyday routine. A win, win situation.

Suddenly he heard something in between the claps of thunder and his singing. He opened his eyes, and squinted through the rain, trying to see what it was. The sound was a cross between singing, crying and wailing. Finally his eyes managed to distinguish a figure, making it's way carefully across the roof about ten feet away from him. He squinted to try and see who it was, but in his confused state he wasn't quite sure. He knew that he'd seen them before, but he just couldn't place where.

The singing grew louder, as the voice gained strength. He listened harder, and just managed to catch the end of a line. It was a female voice, and she was singing 'Amazing grace'. The wailing had stopped, and so had the crying.

After a few seconds he managed to swing his leg back towards the floor, he grabbed his cane and stood. He swayed gently for a few seconds, before he managed to keep himself upright without the world tilting at odd angles. Once the world was stationary once more he moved towards the female, who seemed oblivious to his presence. She was walking towards the edge of the roof, staring at the view beyond. Quite quickly she reached the barrier, and to his horror she stepped up onto it. She was preparing to jump.

"NO!"

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Oops, I left it on a bit of a cliffhanger there. I shall try and update quickly, 'cause I love this story xD 

Anyway please do review, I know you want to:)

Thanks for reading.


	6. Chapter 6

Yay another chapter up, please do keep reviewing because I love to hear your insights into the story and whether it's any good. I'm really enjoying writing this, and I hope you're enjoying reading it.

Anyway, enjoy : )

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Brown eyes stared wearily at the wall opposite him, as he tried to think where these two people could be. He'd asked Chase and Cameron to go and tell Cuddy about the second disappearance, whilst he'd sent Foreman to go and ask about Kate. Hopefully the other doctor was checking every room, and checking with every doctor and nurse to try and find the young woman. The only bit of information they knew was that she'd been seen leaving the room, and walking down the corridors of the hospital, and now Wilson had that horrible feeling that something terrible was going to happen.

Wilson was currently sat in his office, staring at the glass door with the rain pelting against it. A thunderstorm had started as well, with the occasional flash of thunder lighting up his office. The once neat stacks of paper were now lying on the floor in a heap, where he'd swept them off his desk in frustration. He should be able to tell where House was; he was his best friend after all! He should be able to tell where the other man would go when he was upset, because that was his job. His job was to pick up the pieces after the fall, to put the older man back together again. It was like some sort of sick nursery rhyme, almost like Humpty Dumpty. Except House had further to fall. But a similarity was that you could never put either of them back together properly ever again, they were left broken forever.

Wilson's hands rose to scrub his face, before he lent back in his chair, allowing his eyes to close for one brief moment. His mind continued to think about House, and about their relationship. The poor guy always had too far to fall…

His eyes shot open, as he realised that was one more place where they hadn't looked yet.

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The singing continued, as if the woman hadn't heard his cry. Well with the crash of the thunder he'd be surprised if she could hear anything properly. It was a miracle he'd heard her, otherwise he wouldn't have noticed her at all.

"KATE?" He yelled over the roaring wind and rain, his mind clearing slightly as he tried to think how to get her off the barrier. Finally the woman's singing stopped and she turned to face him, her expression one of surprise. No doubt because she'd been expecting to be alone up here.

"Doctor House." She said, her tone slightly disappointed. She knew that he wasn't about to just let her throw herself off the roof, no, he'd try and stop her in whatever way he could! He couldn't let Rebecca down again; he had to save her mother. If he could save her mother then he could at least relieve some of the intense guilt that he had felt since the girl's passing.

"Yep, what are you doing out here?" He asked, not really knowing what to do. He'd never been in one of these situations before, and had hoped that he'd never have to go through one! If anything he'd thought he'd be the one to be jumping…and in this dream no one had found him until he'd hit the ground and the darkness had taken hold.

The woman's face was impassive, and if she hadn't been standing on the barrier, looking set to jump, then he'd never have suspected her of doing anything wrong up here. She looked the picture of innocence, and yet here she was willing to end it all on a stormy night.

"My baby's gone, I failed her. I can't go on without her, she was my life!" House felt annoyance start to bite, and he didn't even really understand why.

"You didn't fail her! You weren't the one who tried to diagnose her, and decided that the best option was surgery!" It'd been his fault! He'd told Wilson that the best course of action was surgery, and then they'd work on diagnosing whatever illness she had. He'd been wrong. His friend had tried to teach him about the consequences of being wrong earlier in the year, and now he was paying the price of not listening.

The female remained silent, but she shook her head as he spoke. She didn't believe what he was saying, and no doubt thought that he was telling her this to get her off the barrier and back to level ground. Which in all fairness he was, but he was also trying to ease his conscience. If he could make things better by telling the truth, then that was just fine by him!

"Kate, look you couldn't have done anything, okay? You were a good mother, and loved your daughter very much, that was obvious." He took several steps closer to her, looking up into her eyes, trying to make her see.

"No," A small smile crossed her face, as she took another step backwards, "I failed her and now I'll be punished." She took another step back so her heels were dangling over the edge. House knew he had to do something, and quickly. But before he could say anything she took a deep breath, and prepared to fall. Without a seconds hesitation he threw his cane to one side and practically ran towards her,

"NO!"

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They were running, trying to keep up with the furious pace that Wilson was setting. He'd just been leaving his office when they'd all come out of the lift. The other doctor had begun to frantically tell them that they hadn't tried the roof, and that House liked to go up there sometimes when things didn't go well and he wanted to reflect on what had happened before. So that was why he, Cameron and Foreman were hurrying after the Oncologist, past dazed nurses and worried looking doctors. His legs were pumping furiously, and he felt the adrenaline begin to enter his system.

They reached the small door and Wilson flung it open, glancing quickly at the stairs ahead of them, before taking them two at a time. Chase followed him keeping his eyes on the doctor's back, wondering why they hadn't thought of the roof. They'd all known that sometimes their boss liked to come up here, but it hadn't crossed his mind at all. He'd been hoping that House had just gone home, and been enjoying the company of a hooker or something…at least that what the older man used to say he did of a night. Knowing him he was probably lying.

The stairs climbed higher and higher, and the Australian began to get dizzy. Behind him he could hear the ragged breathing of either Cameron or Foreman, and their hurried footsteps. Ahead of him Wilson was panting as he jumped up the steps in front of him, trying to get to the door quickly.

Finally they reached the top, and Wilson wrenched open the door before him. The rain flew in and hit him in the face, causing his skin to sting. The young doctor knew that in a few moments of being outside in that, they'd all be soaked to the skin. He squinted through the rain and saw two figures, and to his horror one of them was stood on the barrier that was meant to keep people from falling to the ground from the roof. The Oncologist before him seemed to have frozen,

"Wilson! We need to move!" This seemed to bring him out of his stupor, and soon they were all running once more, across the roof towards the figures. But suddenly the figure on the barrier took a few more steps back, her feet dangling over the edge. Chase felt his heart stop, and pushed his legs harder.

Suddenly the other figure threw something to the floor and ran, rather unevenly, towards the female and grabbed her. For one terrible moment they hovered on the edge of the roof, before House lost his footing and slipped. In front of him he heard Wilson's frantic cry, and found three other voices joining in.

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Oh no! I'm so sorry I left it on another cliffie. I just can't stop writing them!

Anyway please do review, and let me know what you think so far.

Thanks for reading.


	7. Chapter 7

I'm sorry about the cliff-hanger in the last chapter, but it just had to be done. Anyway this chapter almost killed me to write! I hope it's okay, and we've only got one more left to go. I'm actually quite sad to think that this story will be ending soon because I've really enjoyed writing it, and all you're reviews have made it that much more enjoyable. I'll say a proper thank-you in the last chapter.

Anyway hope you enjoy this chapter.

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The world seemed to stop spinning. The lighting stopped flashing, the thunder was silenced. Time stood still as Wilson watched his best friend loose his footing and slip. This couldn't be happening! House was not allowed to die! He was meant to live forever, with his snarky comments living on through the ages. He was not about to see the man fall off this hospital roof! He was not going to go to his funeral and read a eulogy! He would not, because this wouldn't happen. 

Time started up again, and Wilson heard voices shouting, his included. His legs propelled him towards his friend faster then he thought they could actually carry him. Suddenly, and for one heart-stopping minute he saw House look at him, shock on his face before he fell.

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Shit, this was not meant to happen. He hadn't wanted to be a hero, he'd just wanted to live his life, piss a few people off in the process, but he wasn't meant to die like this. Falling from a roof wasn't his style. If anything he'd prefer to go out in a huge blaze of glory, like maybe he could be saving lots of little children…except he hated kids. Well he hated most kids. They were so inquisitive, and annoying, always needing something or other. He hadn't been like that when he was a child! His father had beaten that out of him early on, so why should children be like that now? They should be happy that their fathers aren't allowed to beat them anymore, they should be happy that they have a life ahead of them.

House's mind, usually so active with hypothesis and facts, was beginning to grow blissfully silent. A few thoughts ran through his mind as he felt himself wobbling on the edge of life and death. He could see his team running towards them, but he knew that they were probably too late. Too late for him anyway, he could feel his bad leg giving way. It wouldn't keep him up much longer. He pulled Kate back from the edge, gritting his teeth against the pain.

Suddenly he felt his leg go, he let go of Kate abruptly and felt himself fall downwards. He looked up at Wilson, his best friend, running towards him. But before he could say anything he fell. His legs went from under him, and he felt the wind begin to whip around him. THIS WAS NOT HOW HE WAS MEANT TO DIE. He was meant to live till 100 and shout at kids for stepping on his plants, and polish his motorbike in the garage at odd times. He was meant to be the neighbour from hell.

He closed his eyes, his mind flashing images at him. He saw his mum and dad smiling down at him, his first day of school, his first day of medical school, his first girl friend, his first best friend. Wilson's face stuck in his mind the longest, that time when they'd just been laughing and joking whilst eating Chinese take-away. They never did that anymore. He felt a twinge of regret for never making more of an effort for his friend. Suddenly an odd sense of peach overwhelmed him, maybe it was the drugs still in his system, but for the first time in his life he felt that death wouldn't be so bad after all. No more running (or trying to run) after people, no more diagnosing patients, no kids, no pain. Yes, maybe he was ready to die.

Suddenly he felt something warm touch his hand, and then the warm thing grabbed his wrist and he stopped falling. He opened his eyes slowly and saw a face floating before him. A face, which he recognised. Wilson had grabbed his hand and was stopping him from falling. For some reason House didn't feel gratitude towards his friend, in fact he felt the opposite.

"House!" He looked into those brown eyes, and wondered whether or not he should just make the Oncologist to let him go, let him plummet to the sweet darkness that was calling him. Wilson however seemed to read his thoughts, and his face became defiant.

"If you dare let go I'll kill you." At that House felt a small, unwilling smile flitter across his face. Wilson had never been able to deliver a decent threat, and he'd very rarely been able to carry them out either. But with those words House felt his fear return, and his other hand flew upwards and grabbed onto his friend's arm. The doctor's face seemed to relax for a second, before he began to heave them both up.

After a few seconds Foreman's face appeared in his line of vision, he was no doubt helping Wilson pull him up. Soon Foreman's arm appeared and House let go of Wilson's and clung onto his subordinate's. Finally they managed to pull him back up and over the barrier, and he sank down onto the ground shaking uncontrollably. He didn't care if he seemed weak at this moment in time, for now he was just glad he was alive, and slightly worried about the fact that he'd been ready to die only seconds before.

Wilson's face came back into view, staring at him worriedly. The other man was breathing heavily, and soon a grin spread across the doctor's face. He was obviously in shock.

"Bit dramatic that, House. No need to fall off a building to get our attention." House couldn't even manage a smile; instead he lent his head against the brick and closed his eyes. Darkness swooped up on him; he welcomed it, ignoring the voices calling his name from far away.

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Wilson thought that his heart might actually have stopped pumping altogether, the minute he saw House falling off the edge of the building. When he'd grabbed the other man's wrist and been able to haul him up, he'd known instantly that everything was going to be all right. He didn't know how he knew, but when he'd grabbed his friend's hand everything had righted itself. He was able to save House, and no matter how many times the guy was evil to him, or made fun of him, he now owed him one!

When they'd managed to get House up and over the barrier, he'd felt like a weight had been lifted, that was until the man had fallen. His legs obviously no longer able to support his weight. But now House's eyes were closed, and Wilson began to worry. He didn't know what House had been doing up here before they'd found him, and his 'mother hen' complex was kicking in. To one side of him Cameron and Chase were checking Kate, to make sure she was okay. Foreman remained with him, and the minute House's eyes had closed, he'd brought out a penlight and was flashing it in his eyes. The pupils were sluggish, and the Oncologist felt his heart sink. That could mean that his friend was high…damn.

With a sigh he stood and turned his face skywards. Why did House always do this? He'd thought that he'd been doing better, taking less Vicodin, trying to wean himself off it. Obviously not.

"Okay, we've gotta get them downstairs, quickly." He motioned for Chase and Cameron to take Kate quickly; they didn't need telling twice. The female doctor helped to support the young mother, whilst Chase began to speak to her softly. Once they were through the door, Wilson turned to Foreman. A hand flew to his face and he rubbed his temple, he didn't know what he wanted to do first. Wake House up and shout at him for being so stupid, or carry him downstairs and make sure he was okay. After a few seconds hesitation the latter won, and he motioned for Foreman to help him.

"This is gunna be hell to explain to Doctor Cuddy." Foreman said, as he slipped his boss' left arm over his shoulder. Wilson managed a soft chuckle, as he did the same with House's right arm. Together they moved swiftly towards the door, and out of the cold, pelting rain.

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His head was throbbing, he was cold, and he didn't think that he could actually open his eyelids. He was quite comfy in this bed, or whatever he was lying in. But something was scratching at his arm, something that felt strangely like an IV tube. At that thought his eyes flew open, and he stared around him in surprise. He was in a hospital. Not just any hospital, but the hospital that he's almost fallen off. He looked around him and was relieved to find himself alone, with no flowers or cards telling him to get well soon. Although he didn't really know anyone who would send him a 'get well' card, well except for Cameron and Wilson.

House let his head settle back into the pillow, his vision blurring slightly as he looked up at the light above his bed. He'd never noticed how comfortable these beds were, although that may just be because he felt shattered. His eyes closed, but before he could drift off again he heard the glass door open.

"House?" He didn't open his eyes as the sound of a familiar female voice,

"House I know you're awake." Damn, foiled again. He opened his eyes, to reveal Cuddy standing in the doorway. He raised an eyebrow at her low cut top,

"Wow, don't need nurses to make me feel better when the twins are on show." One side of his mouth curled upwards in a smirk, but she showed no such amusement. She looked serious, and he felt his heart sinking slightly.

"What were you doing on the roof?" Great, just what he needed. He let his head fall back against the pillow, and heard her heels clicking against the tiled floor as she moved closer to him.

"House, why were you up there?"

"Why do you wanna know?"

"Because I'm your boss." He chuckled softly at that,

"I went up to get some air."

"Is that all?"

"Yep." He didn't look at her, but knew that she was giving him a sceptical expression.

"Well, I suppose we should say 'well done'," He looked over at her in surprise and she elaborated, "You saved Kate's life."

"And I didn't save her daughter." Cuddy looked down at the ground,

"That was not all your fault, House. Don't go baring this burden on your own. I told you to hurry up, and go with surgery."

"But I didn't challenge you! I thought that surgery was a good option, and I was wrong."

"Stop it House. You don't need to be the centre of everything, you're not the only one who makes wrong decisions from time to time." He turned away from her, and looked back up at the ceiling.

"Go, please." She most likely rolled her eyes, but she didn't say another word. Instead she walked swiftly out of the room, leaving him to his own thoughts.

"Wow, what did you say to her?" House didn't look at Wilson, but he sniffed slightly. He recognised that smell, the smell of Chinese take-away.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, still refusing to look at the man who'd saved his life.

"We all know what the food's like here, and seeing as you've been asleep for a day I reckoned you'd be hungry." House finally looked up at his friend, and saw the big white bag containing some of the best food in the world, and the small smile on Wilson's face.

"Oh." Wilson moved into the room, and House instantly knew that he was not going to get his food before he had a lecture.

"House, look where you high on the roof?" House stared up at his friend,

"Why are you asking?"

"Because I need to know." Honesty was always the best policy,

"No." Well in most cases. Wilson didn't look as if he believed him, but after a careful scrutiny he placed the white bag on the edge of his bed and grabbed a plastic chair from the edge of the room. For a while they ate in silence, before Wilson spoke up.

"You do realise that I don't believe you, don't you?"

"Yep."

"Good." After that there was laughter and joking once more, and although their talking seemed slightly strained, at least they were enjoying the company. They finished the take-away pretty quickly, but they talked for a lot longer.

Finally Wilson had to leave, to go back and finish up patient notes. Before he left he dug around in his pockets, and held out a small piece of paper to him. House took it from his hand, and looked at it. The writing was in black, and there was a strange pattern around the edges. It read,

_Mr. G. House_

_The funeral of Rebecca Harriet Jenkins will be held on the 25__th__ October, and _

_We'd be honoured if you'd be able to attend. _

_Yours sincerely_

_Mark and Kate Jenkins_

"Mark had them printed yesterday. He was a bit quick off the mark, and that's why Kate was on the roof." Wilson sighed slightly as he spoke, but House had eyes only for the piece of paper. They'd invited him to the funeral. Why? What had he done, except teach their child poker?

"Did you get one?"

"Yep, so did Cuddy and the ducklings." House nodded slowly, before placing the piece of paper on the table next to his bed.

"Anyway you'd better get some more rest, the nurses are already getting annoyed with you. You managed to annoy them whilst sleeping. How?"

"It's a talent." He said, smiling slightly before he lay back and closed his eyes once more. After a while he heard the glass door close, and allowed his thoughts to wander. Maybe he'd be able to get by this…he hadn't been the only one to make a mistake. Sure Wilson wasn't going to be happy with him, and neither was Cuddy but they couldn't prove that he'd been high on the roof. Now he had to look to the future, not the past.

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Hope you enjoyed it. Go on, review, I know you want to : )

Thanks for reading.


	8. Chapter 8

Well here it is, the end of my story. I really hope that you've enjoyed reading it, and I'd like to thank all those readers who've stuck with me since I started this story. You've all been so amazing, and you've made writing this story one of the most enjoyable stories I've ever written!

The lyrics in this chapter:

'Running up that Hill' - cover version by Placebo - Original by Kate Bush

'How to save a Life' - The Fray

Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with House M.D. unfortunately, because if I did this storyline would no doubt crop up in it. Also I own nothing to do with either of the songs featured in this chapter. They are amazing songs and I listened to them and they just sounded so right for this story.

Anyway have a good time reading it, and thanks so much for reading it :)

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Black. A colour associated with the devil or pain. Today it was associated with death. The rows of people dressed in black suits, their heads bent in prayer as the small coffin stood in centre stage. The vicar, stood in the pulpit, led the prayers his face uplifted. Only one face was not bent in reverence, the stubble-covered chin raised as blue eyes scanned the church. He'd never understood faith. He believed that if he could see it and if there was proof, then it was real, otherwise it was not real. He'd never been shown proof that there was an almighty being up there, someone who was watching their every move, and yet still there were people who worshipped him.

House rested his chin on his cane as he finished his scan of the congregation, and his eyes turned back to the vicar. Beside him Wilson's eyes were closed and his head bent, the ducklings and Cuddy were all doing the same. They'd been here for twenty minutes already, and House already felt that this was a mistake. He shouldn't have come; he wasn't cut out for saying 'good-byes'. In the front row there was a racking sob, and he felt his head bend slightly. He felt embarrassed at not being able to take solace in this service, he wasn't a religious person, he wasn't about to bend his head to someone he didn't believe in, but now he was listening to the sobs from Kate he felt like he should swallow his pride.

"Amen." That one word, the word that ended a thousand hymns and prayers, the word that signalled the end of everything. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Wilson's head raise, and turn slightly to look at him. He refused to make eye contact; he didn't want Wilson to see his indecision.

The service ended and people were called up to bear the coffin outside, four men walked forwards and picked up the golden handles. The coffin, the last resting place of a small girl who should have had a great, long life, was lifted onto their shoulders and they carried through the aisle. People began to filter out behind the wooden box, towards the graveyard.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

The sunlight hit the various gravestones around them, illuminating the names that had been carved onto them. Stone angels stood atop many of the tombs, they're faces almost unrecognisable due to the ages of rain and wind that had beaten them down. The congregation moved slowly after the coffin bearers, most only having eyes for the coffin in front of them. House, however, was looking around him, trying with all his might not to look at the people in front of him. It had been a week since that day when he'd almost fallen from the roof, and if it hadn't been for Wilson he'd have been laid to rest here as well. But who would visit his grave?

Finally they stopped, and gathered around the small hole in the ground. Six foot wide, by six foot deep. The coffin was slowly lowered down, down into the darkness. Earth was scattered on top, and a red rose was thrown in as well. The vicar said those last few words, before he closed his bible and began to walk away. The deed was done.

House just stared down in the hole, his insides feeling like they had disappeared a long time ago. Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder,

"Come on." He nodded softly, and turned letting the hand guide him. He couldn't see. The world was spinning. His leg was killing him. His breathing was becoming laboured.

"House?" He couldn't reply, instead he placed his hand on a gravestone trying to keep himself upright. He tried to get his breathing under control but it wouldn't work, his throat felt as though it was constricting, his lungs were screaming for air.

His legs gave way and he sank down onto the grass, his eyes closing.

"House? What's wrong?" The voice seemed a long way off, and he opened his eyes once more trying to get them to work again. He could now see blurred outlines, but the world seemed to have a yellow-ish tint to it. Suddenly a flash of white appeared in his line of vision. He squinted to try and see past the glare, he was sure there was a small figure standing in the glow. A small figure, with long hair and a smiling face.

"House!" The voice became insistent, and suddenly his vision was obstructed by Wilson's anxious face. He pushed his friend's head out of the way, but the light was gone. His breathing became easier, the world had stopped spinning and the yellow-ish tint had gone.

"I'm fine." He said, shaking his head slightly to get rid of the notion that he might have just seen a ghost.

"House, you're as white as a sheet!"

"I'm fine, I just thought I saw…" His voice trailed off, as he pulled himself upright. He kept staring at the spot where the girl had appeared, but there was no sign that she'd been there.

"Thought you saw what?" Wilson's gaze turned to look at the spot that he was looking at,

"Nothing. It doesn't matter."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

_If I only could, make a deal with God_

_And get him to swap our places_

House sat in the chair in his office once more, swinging his cane round and round. He was staring at the bookshelf, trying to understand what had happened over the past week. He'd been more than willing to die, to leave this world forever because he'd felt like he'd let someone down. He'd saved someone's life, and someone had saved his.

_Be running up that road_

_Be running up that hill_

The sunlight outside illuminated the desk, on which a pen and a stack of paper were placed. The clutter that had once claimed this desk as its home, was now gone. Thrown away, making room for new clutter to begin its life here.

_Be running up that building_

_If I only could…_

Life was hard sometimes, but he'd gotten through worse than this. He'd managed to cheat death twice, so why was this so hard? With a sigh he stopped spinning his cane and rolled his chair backwards towards his C.D. player, he pushed several buttons and a song began to play. He smiled softly as a memory of singing this in the pouring rain invaded his mind,

_Step one; you say we need to talk he walks,_

_You say sit down it's just a talk_

He lent back in his chair and closed his eyes, allowing the words to wash over him. He'd heard that this song was about addiction, how fitting. Not that he was addicted! No, he just chose not to stop taking vicodin, after all he was in pain! That's what people tended to forget, they didn't realise that the pain was all-consuming, it took over everything, it never stopped, never left.

_He smiles politely back at you_

_You stare politely right on through._

_Some sort of window to your right,_

_As he goes left and you stay right._

He sighed, not wanting the song to end. He knew that once it ended then he would be dragged out of this comfortable spot, and back into the real world. That was something he really didn't want to do. Out in the real world meant that he'd have to face the annoying patients, who decided that as they had nothing better to do in the day then they'd come and visit the clinic with some pathetic ailment.

Cuddy had insisted that his team have a break since the last case, but he'd refused to take time off. Why should he? All he'd do if he took the time would be sit around, bored out of his mind. Dare he say it, but it was better listening to stupid complaints from patients in the clinic then watching re-runs of Jerry Springer.

_Where did I go wrong? _

_I lost a friend, somewhere along in the bitterness._

_And I would have stayed up with you all night_

_Had I known how to save a life._

Lives were fragile things. People were born and then they died, it was such a quick process when one thought about it. However when people died young, that was when it all turned cruel.

_Let him know that you know best,_

'_cause after all you do know best._

He didn't hear his door open, didn't hear as someone walked closer to his desk. The shadow that crossed his face went unnoticed; the soft smell of perfume didn't even register. When at last a part of him realised that there was a female standing before him, the song was almost over and he opened one eye. Damn.

Cuddy was stood over him, one eyebrow raised. A file was clasped in a long-nailed hand, and House couldn't help but open his other eye.

"What's that?"

"Clinic patient list."

"Oh."

"Yes, House. You're," She glanced down at the file, "five months behind on clinic hours." He opened his mouth, trying to think of an excuse.

"I don't care House, get it done." She flung the file on his desk, and left the room. He stared after her, before sighing gently. Somehow everything seemed to go back to normal after a crisis, no matter how big the disaster had been there was always clinic duty to do.

He turned off the radio, picked up his cane and hobbled over to his door. Maybe he could hide away in Clinic 2, and play on his Game-Boy. A small smile crossed his lips at this thought, and he began to walk down the corridor towards the lift, and his own personal hell.

_Where did I go wrong?_

_I lost a friend, somewhere along in the bitterness_

_And I would have stayed up with you all night_

_Had I know how to save a life._

_How to save a life._

_How to save a life._

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I'm not too sure about this chapter, but I hope you enjoyed reading it.

Thanks for sticking with me, and now it's the end -sniffs- xD

Please do review, and let me know what you thought of the overall story.

Thanks again.


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